Understanding Mentoring

Yesterday on the bus, I read chapter 2 of Stanley and Clinton's book "Connecting: The Mentoring Relationships You Need In Your Life." Chapter 2 is titled "Understanding Mentoring" and is an excellent summary of different types of mentoring.

As I read it, I was reminded of some of the people who have mentored me over the years. These include my parents, Steve French, Ron Rombough, Paul Hansen, John Gration, Stephen Johnston, Andrew Warburton, Andy Norman, Anthony Brown, Jerry Root, and Francis Dognon. How grateful I am to these individuals for what they taught me regarding the Christian life and ministry. I wouldn't be the same person without their influence.

"Mentoring is a relational process in which a mentor, who knows or has experienced something, transfers that something (resources of wisdom, information, experience, confidence, insight, relationships, status, etc.) to a mentoree, at an appropriate time and manner, so that it facilitates development or empowerment." (p. 40)

"In our survey of leaders, we found that almost all of them identified three to ten people who made significant contributions to their development." (p. 38)

"These people who influenced others seemed to have some common characteristics:
-Ability to readily see potential in a person.
-Tolerance with mistakes, brashness, abrasiveness, and the like in order to see that potential develop.
-Flexibility in responding to people and circumstances.
-Patience, knowing that time and experience are needed in development.
-Perspective, having vision and ability to see down the road and suggest the next steps that a mentoree needs.
-Gifts and abilities that build up and encourage others." (p. 39).

"Barnabas illustrates a number of the specific ways that mentors help mentorees. Our studiens indicate several important ones:
1. Mentors give to mentorees
--timely advice;
--letters, articles, books, or other literary information that offers perspective;
--finances;
--freedom to emerge as a leader even beyond the level of the mentor.
2. Mentors risk their own reputation in order to sponsor a mentoree.
3. Mentors model various aspects of leadership functions so as to challenge mentorees to move forward with them.
4. Mentors direct mentorees to needed resources that will further develop them.
5. Mentors co-minister with mentorees in order to increase their confidence, status, and credibility." (pp. 39-40)

"There aren't enough ideal mentors who can do it all. But lots of people can fulfill one or more of the mentoring functions. All you need to do is identify the specific area of mentoring you need, and that should enable you to answer the question, "Who can mentor me?" (p. 41)

Major Thrusts of Mentoring Types (p. 42)

Intensive
1. Discipler: Enablement to basics of following Christ
2. Spiritual guide: Accountability, direction, and insight for questions, commitments, commitments, and decisions affecting spirituality and maturity.
3. Coach: Motivation, skills, and application needed to meet a task, challenge.

Occasional
4. Counselor: Timely advice and correct perspectives on viewing self, others, circumstances, and ministry.
5. Teacher: Knowledge and understanding of a particular subject.
6. Sponsor: Career guidance and protection as leader moves within an organization.

Passive
7. Model
Contemporary: A living, personal model for life, ministry, or profession who is not only an example but also inspires emulation.
Historical: A past life that teaches dynamic principles and values for life, ministry, and /or profession.

The following dynamics are vital to the mentoring relationship: (pp. 43-44)

1. Attraction: This is the necessary starting point in the mentoring relationship. The mentoree is drawn to the mentor for various reasons: perspective, certain skills, experience, values and commitments modeled, perceived wisdom, position, character, knowledge, and influence. The mentor is attracted to the mentoree's attitude, potential, and opportunity for influence. As attraction increases, trust, confidence, and mentoring subjects develop that will strengthen the mentoring relationship and ensure empowerment.
2. Responsiveness: The mentoree must be willing to learn from the mentor. Attitude is crucial for the mentoree. A responsive, receiving spirit on the part of the mentoree and attentiveness on the part of the mentor directly speed up and enhance the empowerment.
3. Accountability: Mutual responsibility for one another in the mentoring process ensures progress and closure. Sharing expectations and a periodic review and evaluation will give strength to application and facilitate empowerment. The mentor should take responsibility for initiating and maintaining accountability with the mentoree.