Torrents of Hope--Week 1--The Wounds of the Mother

Tonight was my first session of the Torrents de Vie/Torrents of Hope course. I missed last week's initial session due to being sick. It is based on Andy Comisky's "Deserts Streams" ministry.

The theme was "The Wounds of the Mother." The speaker Marie-Thérèse talked about the importance of the mother in all that she transmits to her child: life, the sense of relationship, the feeling of "I am" and one's existence. Ideally, a mother will transmit a feeling of security, well-being, and peace to her child through her care, voice, cuddles, looks, and feeding. The first 3 years of a child's life, particularly the first 6 months, are especially important for receiving this. Breastfeeding, in particular, nourrishes a baby not just physically, but in all areas.

However, a mother doesn't necessarily transmit these good things to her child. Instead, a child may feel sense a lack of care physically or emotionally from the mother, whether this is intentional or unintentional. This may result feelings of "non-existence," rejection, insecurity, shame, anger, guilt, rebellion, bitterness, always looking for love, approval, and affection. A child may cut himself off relationally or psychologically from his mother, but this leads to a type of death and disconnectedness to the child's own suffering.

The hope for this is that God (and only God) can heal this wound, this void, and communicate what one might not have received from one's mother.

During the time of prayer before and after the talk, I felt this sensation of being rocked, like in a rocking chair. My son usually asks for "a cuddle, daddy" when he wakes up in the middle of the night. I often rock him in a rocking chair in his room until he falls asleep.

For some reason, it seems like I need some healing in the area of the theme that was discussed tonight. I'm not sure why, as I have a loving father and mother who wanted me and cared for me during my early childhood. Tomorrow is my birthday, so I called them tonight after getting home to get more details on my birth and early months. I have lots of good memories of fun with my mother as a kid.

I'm struck by the words of God for Zion in Isaiah 49:15-16: "Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me."

May the Lord give me more clarity concerning whatever areas might need the Spirit's healing.