Relational Challenges of the 21st Century--Part I--Having Young Children

It's been a full morning already. We had a general informational meeting with the parents in our son's class, his teacher, and the school principal. We thought that it would last an hour, but it went 2 1/2 hours. However, it was time well spent, as we got a lot better of an idea of our son's typical day, as well as about some of the extracurricular activities for the year.

His teacher is in her first year at this school. However, she impressively explained her educational strategy. She's very observant of each student, which is very important for a teacher of first year students, many of whom have never been in a collective situation before. I was reminded again of how reassuring it is for participants to feel that their leader (or their child's leader) knows what they are doing and where they are going. This also applies to coaches, team leaders, pastors, political leaders, etc. When one doubts the competency of one's leader(s), then it's easy to have mixed feelings about following him/her/them.

Earlier this week we weren't sure that both my wife and I would be able to make the meeting. We've had a challenging time finding baby sitters in Paris. That's one of the challenges of living a long way from our families. We can't just drop our kids off at the grandparents' house. Even at our church, there just aren't many people who live within easy travel distance from us, and even less whom we think would be able to handle our kids. While the distance as the crow flies from place to place in Paris often isn't far, the traffic and lack of parking make getting from point A to point B and back more challenging in Paris than in much of the U.S. and France.

During our days as singles, then as young marrieds with no kids, we didn't think much about the freedom to come and go at pretty much any time day or night. That has definitely changed with young kids. Even when we go somewhere with the kids or have people come over, we have to work around nap times and bed times, as well as school pick up and drop off times now.

Fortunately, I had the idea on Friday night of Yael and her daughter Leah. We met them at the baby swimmer class and they've been to a couple recent parties we've had. When my wife telephoned Yael, she gladly accepted. We dropped our kids off at their apartment, which is very close to the school. Our kids enjoyed their time with them, as they did some artwork together. Yael even made a cake for morning snack.

Thanks to Yael's act of service, we both made the meeting. We hope to be able to reciprocate as well with Leah, so Yael and her husband can get out sometimes as well. Hopefully, this interdependence will help a good friendship develop.

Having children forces friendships to evolve. As with other circumstances, it helps strengthen some friendships, while limiting other friendships. Hopefully, this will help us all develop some new friendships that grow and develop in a similar way that our kids grow and develop. This doesn't mean that our only deep friendships will be with people who are parents.