Ecclesiastes

It's 6:30 a.m. and the rest of the household is still sleeping. Exceptionally this morning, I woke up on my own without being awaked by one of the kids needing milk, comfort, or an escort to the bathroom. This reminds me of my single days 10 years ago.

I got to read Ecclesiastes 3-6 in my favorite reading room: our bathroom. We keep plenty of reading material there. For my wife in particular, this is one of her refuges in our apartment for a short 2-5 minute break during her day. I have great respect now for her and other mothers of young children.

When growing up, my family did family devotions for a number of years after supper. The ones that I remember the most were when we went through the book of Proverbs when I was probably 8-13 years old. We each had a copy of a small booklet containing all 31 chapters. My dad, mom, brother, and I would alternate reading verses from the chapter of Proverbs that corresponded during that particular date. On May 2, for example, we would read Proverbs 2.

I think that this daily lecture together has perhaps marked my life and values during the past 4 decades as much as any other activity. I still love Proverbs and the timeless wisdom that it provides. Most of them were written by Solomon, who also wrote Ecclesiastes. While Ecclesiastes is written in a different form, I noted this morning the same values and priorities as in the Proverbs. While Solomon did get distracted by his 1000 wives and concubines from the wisdom that he requested and received from God for ruling his kingdom, he still did get most of it right at the end of his life.

Yesterday I got to spend some time with a couple of my favorite men.

I got to talk on the phone with my father. He's someone I great admire and has had more influence on my life than any other man. While he's made some mistakes over the years (as we all have), he still has been a model of integrity, generosity, and perseverance. He's not hesitated to lead his family. While his wife and 2 sons (and now 2 daughters-in-law and 6 grandchilden) have changed, he continues to be a good example of a husband, father, father-in-law, and grandfather. He's also been a father and grandfather to many others outside our family over the years.

We had supper last night with Neil. We met in Normandy about 5 years ago at a summer youth conference for French kids that I helped with. Like me, he's a foreigner here (from my home country) who loves France and the French. He's about 10 years younger than me, is single like I was, and is trying to discern what God has for him relationally. He's someone who occasionally shows up in Paris for ministry and with school groups (he's a high school teacher). He's a real encourager and someone we love to have around when he's around. He's one of those friends for the journey that God has brought into our lives.

My reading through Ecclesiastes reminded me that there are different seasons in life and ministry. Chapter 3 is a classic in literature, starting with these poetic words:

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and time to build,
a time to weep and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

It was just about 10 years ago when I proposed to my then girlfriend (and now wife) on top of the Eiffel Tower. In preparing for our wedding 10 years ago, we were struck by the following verses in Ecclesiastes 4.

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:
If one falls down, his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

As I type now, my 5 year old is standing next to me. He's on a 2 week school break. One of our projects is to have him learn to wipe his own bottom when he goes #2. I just helped him go through the process and wash his hands afterward. While life isn't as neat and sanitized with 3 children as it was during my single days 10 years ago, it has special joys and perspective that come with it. One value is living, sacrificing for, and investing in the next generation(s). For they are perhaps the biggest legacy that we will leave behind.